sayaka a stupid ho
by gamewitch1990
Summary: togami is mad
1. no ones dead yet

**sayaka a stupid ho**

"sayaka is a stupid ho" saed togammi...he was gladring at the super hgih school level stupid ho (sayaka)

super hgih schooll evel gay sex was rlakting to her (leon is gay sex)

he waz mAd becuasue eveyron should b worsiping him. not stupid ho sayaka

he loked around. shurely someone ws going 2 worshp and stare at his beauTUiuful face.

he saw shsl lucky duck tlaking to shsl it is a myustery. (dats naegi n kirigiri). wtf. they shoudl be talkign to him. they are not dumb and can hold conversatnion. he coudltn believe thi

shsl "my eyes are burning because ive been staring at screens too long" (chihiro. they have a very long title) was watching super high school level bugle chip hair (mondo) and spuper high school level gay nerd (ishimary) talk about something. probably each others dicks

he lloked even hard,er, hoping, hopign for someone eyes to stare at him

he saw shsl "im junko" sleeping in a chair. lame

he saw super high school level fake lolita being relaly anger at suepr ghih school level garbage (yamada is actually super high school level doughnut on two sticks btu togami forgets this because he doesnt care so he just says garbage)

he looked over to see super hgih school level smut writer (this is fukawa. no one knows if she has actualyl written smut or not) standing around shsl muscles (sakura) and super hgih schooll evel boobs (asahina) . they were tyring to cheer her up but she was too tired to be happy

but therhe was someoen missing. who was it. it was...super hgh school level dead palm tree hair. (hagakrue0

togami looked around the room. he was nt there. oculd it be...was he die? he fletl a tap on his soulder

"lookgin 4 me" he herd hagakur say

"AHH" togami screamed (quitelyl tho. he is very calm and collected bc hes super hi school level cool dude)

"hagakure. what hthe heckty? why isnt anyone worshipgin me. not even fukawa is. she is too tired to do things"

togami was sad...hagakure could tell he was sad. hagakure puit hand on shoudler...

"togami...i wil always worrship u becuase youre hot...u shoudl be suerp high school level hoT tamale...togami even kind of sounds like tamale...im hugnry" hagakure say

togami waws looking at him liike wtf. im not gay hagkaure" he sayed to him

tHere was a loud shatter...eveyrone looked up..even jukno who was sleeping looked up to see

the sound was...hagakures heart...breakign...

"togami ...my kokoro iz broken..." he ran offf cyrign

"oh dude" leon said going 2 omcfort him (he was proaobnly just going to ask to smell his hair again because he thoguth there was something in it? he is really concrend for hagakures scalp_)

fufkawa sneezed. she was now super high school level yogurt, genocider fro-yo

"what happendd here" she asked

togami said "i told hagakure im not gay'

fro-yo laughed

super hgih schooll level gay nerd walked over to togami "TOGAML THAT was mean you NeED To bE nICER WHEN You TURN SOMEoen DOWN GO. SAY YOu ARE SORRY"

togmai loked him in the eyes and said "no youre a faggot"

ishimaru said thanks!

mondo put his hand over his face "ishiamru thats not a compliment"

ishimaru said he didnt care

modno said ok

celes was gettign bored because nothign intersting was happenign to she dumped her tea on yamada and walked away

eveyrone was staring at togami. "yes" he thougth. "this is what i wanted. worshop me." he stretcfhed his arms out to soak up the glory

but then sayaka started signing over the rainbow to cheer eveyrone up and everyone waslike YEA! and started signin with her. even loen and hagkaur who werent in the room

togami was so mad

"damn you super high school level stupid ho"

2 BE COntiNUED?


	2. SOMEONE IS DEAD

sayaka a stupid ho: ch 2

hagkaure was nursing his shattered hart...

"oh togamil...togami togami." he said very sad like

leon was still in the room btu he wasnt listeing anymore he was thingkin about gay sex (hes super ghih school level gay sex)

hagkaguer kept sayin togmai s name. bnut then he remmmeberd. wait. once i read an urban myth that was like if you say someones name three timesi n a mirror somethign will happen. maybe togami will lvoe me

he walked up to go to his mirror and said byakuya togami byakuya togami byakuya togami

nothgin phycsial hapeped at the moment but hagakure didnt mind. he said "leon i feel bettter now " leon go away

hakagure was alone...so he dcided to walk out of his room

he saw ishairmy patrolling the halsl. hi ishimaru he say

ishiamru said "HELLO HAGAKURE" VERY loudly hagakure said ow my ears

hagkure walked over to see junko. "hi junko" he said

she didtdnt answer so he tapped her and said "hi junko" she said "oh yeah. yea im junko! its me! am junko enoshima enoshima. enoshima junko im junko enoshima im fashion girl" she say to him

hagakure was werided out but he saw she looked very tired "did you get any sleep junko"

"no"

hagkure patted her on the back and told her to take another nap so she did

he went to see togami. he was normal. nothing happened

"hello togami im sorry i flirted with u too hard" hagkaure said

"i dont care hagakure" he said

"by the way have you seen celes togami? i dont need these tea bags"

"where did that come from"

"idk"

togami pointed to celes' room. "shes probably in there masturbating to vampire novels"

hagakure said please dont talk about that togami

celes door was unlcoked...strange...he opened door...he closed door..open door...close door... open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close

"AHGAKURE JUST GO IN THE ROOM ALREaDY YOU ARE MAKING UNNECESSARY NOISE" SCREAMED IMISHARU

hagakure opened the door and wlaked into celes room...and he saw.

celes ...but she was on the floor ...she was bleedign...she...was dead...

celes is dead

OH MY GOD" sCERAMD HAGAKGURE

"OH MY GOF YOU GUYS ARENT GOING TO BELIEVE THSI COVER YOUR EARS IF YOU DONT LIKE SPOIELRS" HAGAKURE SAID RUNNING OUT

chihiro covered their ears

"ok here is the spoielr...

celes dies! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !"


	3. schOOL tRIAL

PREVIOUSLY ON SAYAKA A STUPID HO:  
HAGAKURE SAYS TOGAMIS NAME 3 TIMES IN FRONT OF A MIRROR  
CELES DIES  
COINCNICDIECNE?E? HMMMMMMMMMMMMM

"celes? dead? HOW COULD THIS HAPEN!" scream yamada

"YES come look fro urslef" say ahgakure pointing to celes

people ran in and saw her dead

"WTF!" modno yelled really loud and said sometinng about not attacking girls

chihiro started crying because they liekd celes they thought celes was da bomb

sayayka cry "shE WAAS tEH Only ONE AS FASHIOBARLE AS ME!"

monobear annocunement

"a body was foudn that means school trial must be hold"

togami looked over at ahgakure suspiscios. "so u found her died. but was it actualyl u who kileled her?"

every one stare at hahgakure

"it wasnt me!111 oh my god" hagakure said raising his hands

they exacmined celes room but then monoebar come and is lke "OK its trial time everyone buckle up were in for one hell of a trial"

"DONT CURSE!" said ishimaru

"shut up nerd" say monobear

ishiamru cries one single tear but then he waslks to the elevator to go to court room and everyone else folow

"ok COUrT IS IN SSESSION" said monodear

naegi shout "OK CELEES WAS MURDERED IN HEr ROOM i must solve THE MYSTERY!"

togami put his hand on the table thign in front of him "it was obviously that dumb hagakure he found her dead and no one else nknew before so it hAD tO BE HAGakure."

"but togammi i saw you go in celes' room..." say chihiro softly

"no u didnt' said togami

"togami you fuckingnn shiT! I CAUGHT YOUY ON TAPE WITH MY SMARTPHONE" chihiro yelled

mondo looke d over at chihiro "why dont you just buy an iphone chihiro theyre so much bettter"

"mondo now is not the time to be having this discussion anyway monobear took my iphone but he froget my smartphone haha loser" said chihiro as they did a little victory dance that was realyl cute and everyone said "aww"

monobear pound fist on chair "dammit"

"anyway i have real footage of togami going in the room he also has soimething in his hands? naegi doyou knwo"

hagakure loook over at naegi

so did everyone

"um hang on i have to do something" said naegi

naegi then said some letters out loud and made a catching motion at the air (this is the flashing anagram game everyone thinks naegis a little tapped in theh head...)

naegi shout "THE KNIFE WAS A MURDER WEAPON! rememmber it was laying next to celes"

everyone say "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" because theyre all stupid and didnt notice it  
"THIS IS HOW IT AHAPEND!" SHOUT NAEGI

naegi describe the scene. "otogam took the nknife from the kitchen! asahina you saw right"

"um yeah he said he had to go cut his birthday cake so i didnt think anything of it"

"yeah ok. then chihiro saw him go into celes room and he slit her throat then walked out? then hagakure come and talk to his gay lover togam-"

"WE ARE NOT LOVERS I DONT LIKE HAGAKUR" yeleld togami

hagakure looked down...he was...ssad... his trick in the mirror didnt work...maybe it wven...made togami kill celes...

"ok yeah then hagakure found celes and we had the trial the end" say naegi

"ok fucking fine im the culprit celes was not a real lolita so i killed her" togami said

"PUNISHEMENT TIME" said monobear

"NO!" yELLED HAAGAKURE

"what theh heckty hagakure" angry monokuma said

"we cant execute togami im in doki with him" hagkaure siad, ppounding fists

"hagakure i know u said his name 3 times in the mirror os you know what you did?" monobear said smiling evil

hagakure gasped "what"

"we are not going to execute byakuya togami..." monobear told the students

the tsudenst were fearful...

"were goignn to"

silence...

"eggxecute him"

togami was taken by a chain...into a room...he was...sitttign...then...

many many eggs fell onto hjim... he was surrounded by egg...the egg wwerent cracking they were ok...egg was everywheree

"oh my god there are so many eggs" togami said crying

"ok you can come out now said monobear

togami walked out he was sobbing like a lil binch naegi was laughing

"ahve u liearend ur elsson togam"

"yes monobear ive learend that i shoulddnt kill people or ill get egged"

"good now write ' i wont kill people' 400 times" mono bear said as he threw pencil at togami

togami cry

hagakure was so happy . togami is ok. he isnt die.

"but sir who are we going to edxeucte for ceeles' death"

"ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm lets see who do i not like"

leon was laughign like "ahahahaa i bet its gonna be kirigiri"

"leon were excuting you"

"WAHT!?" loen said makgin face

monobear threw baseball at leons temple and he die

"well that solves this trial" sed naeggi


	4. kigiri and togami join force

"well damn" sad naegi

"what is it naegi kun" ask kigiri

naegi lloked at her. "kirigi i like this girl but shes so msytery...im scared, if she likes me thne,, shell tell me right?"

kirigir was like omg. she was thinking naegi...of course i lik u...obviosuly he was talking about her...who else was more msytery than her!

"maybe...u shiould tell her first...she might be shy. of cours e i know 0 things baout this haha how silly of you to ask me naegi. youre strange"

naegi was so happey his face was liKE BEAMING LIEK THE SUN! HE SCREAM "THANK U KRIigiRI SAN" AND RAN OFF

kirgiri was liek ? WHY IS HE RUNNING I THOUGHT HE LIKED ME

she walked off to find naeg and she see clearning closet door closed...closet door was never fully closed it was allways opena little. ... this is a mystery...perhaps... A MYURDER

krigiiri raise ahdn to open door. she turn doorknob and open a little...then closed it again. she had to be cautious. she opened a little again. then closed door...open door close door...open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close open close

"KIRIGIRI JUST OPEN THE DOOR GOSH!" she heard the voice of ishomaru...but ishiamru voice was not from the halls? it was from in the closet...she opened the door for real this time ,,,

she saw ishiamru and mondo presse ed rly close toghether in the closet

"were you guys making out" she ask

ishiamru face went very red like a potato. i mean green bean. i mean fuck. a tomato

mondos face was blush...he was very amberrased. "yea ok kriiiri you just cant tell anyone"

kriigir looked at him weird "mondo everyone knows you and ishimaru suck each others dicks like 24/7"

ishiamru lOOKED AT KRIIGIRI "WE HAVE NEVER DONE THAT KIRIGIRI KUN! IS SOMEONE SPREADING LIES AND SLANDER ABOUT US!" he scream

kirigiri say "no im exaggerating. its funny."

modndo and ishiamruy looked at her

"wow. jokes are hard" she says

"close the door" said mondo lookgin very annoy

kirigiri close door

then she opens door again

"KIRIGIRI I SAID LCLSOE DOOR!" YELLED MONDO

"just checking" she said

she began to wlak to find naegi...she saw

NAEGII TLKIANG TO LEON AND MAIZONA! she hid behind wall so she wouldnt be discover...

"sayaka this guy wants 2 tell u somethin reeeeeely important!" saying leon as he shove naegi forward

naegi stutters little bit and say... "sayaka...i realll y liek u...and someoen said i should tell you if i did and i dO! I LiKE YOU SAYAKA I WNANT TO GO ON DATE..." he saying

sayaka JUmped IN AIR LIKE "YEAH SURE NAEGI KUN! YOUA RE A COOL GUY AND I LOVE COOL GUYS! DID I MENTION I SING! I SING" then they walked off holding ahnds and naegi look at leon and leon gives him thumbs up

kriigir was DEVAStATED

she let a single tear run down cheek... she felt a tap on her shoulder

she turn aroudn and it was...tOGAMI!

"togami what bring u here..." she said

'i see that ur experienceing the despair that is...sayaka maizono..." he say

"yes...togami? ddid you like anegi?" she said, she was worry...she didnt want ANOTHER romantici rival!

togami laugh "no naegis a loser. im too much of a cool guuy for anyone except maybe fukawa shes kinda hot but shes weird. sayaka is making me upset ebcase she is sTEALING MY ATTENIOTN. I NEED it" he say

she sauys hmm. maybe...maybe we can work togheter...to defeat sayak"

togami look up. "kriigir...do u mean it. will you work with me to defeat her"

"yes"

they shook hands

and theat is hwo kirigiri kyouko and togami byakuyer began their alliance to defeat maizono sayaka the super high school level stupid ho


	5. kirigirs plan

sayaka maizono was doing hr makepup...she was putteng on the lipstikc...all around maouth...

"yeah...yeah lipstick ooooh" she say, getttign ver warm...

(shes turend on by putting on listpikc)

"yes...tyes im so gald ur here lipstik" she sauys

naegi was opening the door to his new girilriends room, excited to see what inrtesting favors she would do this time

"yes...ooh yea on the lower lip mmmmhgmmmmm m MM M? NAEIGI KUN?" she gaps, hodlign lipstick

"maiziono...s...sayaka chan?/ is this...what ur reALLY AFTER?" he said,

he was beratrayed. how could she like this...this...objecjt? over him.?! hE HAD A ZIPPER ON HIS HOOD! HOW IS THAT NOT ATTRACTIVE?! evne ishiamru said it was fasionable

"naegi i...im so sorry...pls forbive me..." she ask, she sitting on mfloor very sad shes about to cry

naegi turns away dramtically...he coughs and depends his voice...

"...NO..." he says deeply

sayaaka stARTS CRYING SO HARD SHES GOING TO FLODO THE ROOM NAEGI RUN VERY FAST OUT

"that was lclose" he said wiping sweat off his forehead

"did you see naegi" kirigiri said comign around the corner

"yeah. thanks so much krigiri, i coudltn have solved the mystery isf my gf was cheating on me or not! youre a real friend kriigiri." he said patting her shoudler

"oh" she says

"youre a great friend. a true friend. youre a realyl great friend." he was sooooo overmcome by emotion of friendhsip

kirigir looked awy... "ok naegi i get it..."

"i like the soun dof that. friend friend friend. friend! youre my friend kirigiri"

kirigiri lookes at naegi.. "yea...ur my friend too..." she llok deep in his eyes

"well bye krigiri! have fun doing myusterious things you lik e to do!" naegi says skipping away happily "god i love friendship" he says

kirigir was left standing alone. but he r plan had not totally failed. she had got him out of sayakas hands. because who knew better then SHE when sayaka did her kmakeup... and due to investingating she found out sayaks secrte about loving the lipstick more than naeigi...

she rubbed her hands togethhter and smiled very smalll

"that is onley the first thing u wil have to cry about sakyaka..." she looked over at the other hallway "becuase you stiill hav e to deal with..."

long puase...

kirigiri cough

"i said, you stiill hav e to deal with..."

"oh" said a voice

then...togami byakuaya came around the corner of the hallway kirigiir was looking at

"byakuya togamis plan to make u sad!" she said before lookkgn at togami weirdly

"togami you have to listen to me better you almost ruined ur entracee!"

"its ok kirigiri as long as i have a face like mien ntohging can ruin my entracnce"

"thats true"

they sit down in the hallways and start plannign sayakas downfall but they get yelled at by ishimaru and he chases them around for a few minutes by fast walking until theyre forced to go plan in the cafetria

"whatre u guys doing togehter" said leon

"leon i thought you died" sed togam

"thats the joke" he replied

everyoen ewas quiet

"so whatr u guys doin together" ask leon again

"leon i swear to god if u fucking think togami and i are dating and you start spreading rumors im going to chop off your balls and throw them at you until you cry" kirigiri said angry

leon went away and now they could plan in peace


End file.
